Dear Facebook - I don't need a Guilt Trip.
We've been in this relationship for over 6 years now. That's longer than I've been a productive member of society, (something for which you and your addictive properties were NOT responsible, thank you very much). I get that you're important. I understand that you've been growing and are constantly running the risk of, as my grandmother would say, growing too big for your britches. I'm trying to empathize with you here.
I can deal with you growing and changing. It's something all my friends do, and you're no exception. You can change the way you look, the way you store your data, the news feeds, the messages... all of it, it's just superficial, like when I went through that short lived goth phase. Remember that? No wait... I was smart enough not to show you those pics. Thank god for that moment of good judgment, because God knows you remember EVERYTHING. You and your bad influence friend, Google. That kid is a Know-it-all...
When we first met, you were great! You helped me meet people, got it so I could hang out with the cool kids, and even rocked the house when it came to getting me business contacts. I wanted to hang out with you all the time, and so did everyone else. You're just so easy to love! And even when people from my past who I've tried to either avoid or forget found me, I forgave you for that trespass. You didn't have to set out to make the awkwardness of a class reunion something we feel on a day to day basis, but you did, and it's something we all have to live with now.
But Facebook, you better check this new attitude. See, at first, you'd just suggest people who you thought would be good friends for me. Sometimes, you were right, and sometimes you were a moron. You were kind of like my friendship TIVO. I was okay with that. But now, besides telling me who I should like because of how many of my friends like them, you're also giving me crap for failing to keep up with certain people. Facebook, did it ever occur to you that there's probably a reason I haven't poked someone in over a year? That maybe, just maybe I don't only communicate through you? And maybe it's true. Maybe I'm terrible at keeping in touch with people. We all have our crosses to bear.
Facebook, I don't need your guilt trip for not writing on someone's wall, messaging them, poking them or otherwise cyber interacting with them. I've got quite enough real time guilt trips to deal with.
You know I'm not going to leave you over this...but it does make me very cranky with you.
In Irritation-
Heather
Posted by Heather Blume at 10/30/2009 5:28 PM 
Categories: Clean Communication, Bits about Me, Social Media Savvy, Tech Talk, Purely Personal
Tags: Totally personal Facebook Social Media
Categories: Clean Communication, Bits about Me, Social Media Savvy, Tech Talk, Purely Personal
Tags: Totally personal Facebook Social Media
Heather,
Great way to express how, I think, a lot of us feel about these new algorhythms Facebook has implemented. I agree with you, I think we have enough to do!
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Thanks Rose!
One of my friends pointed out that I could always just choose to ignore the little box at the top of the page...but I choose to complain instead. I find it more momentarily rewarding
Thanks for your readership! It means a lot to me!
-Heather
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Well said Heather! It is their site, and who are we to complain, it's FREE. I think what this all proves is that computers are just not sophisticated enough to touch our feelings or emotions (yet). Facebook is learning, and over time they could get scary good at figuring out what we really want to see in those boxes. It's a work-in-progress for them, and the risk they take is that it may lead to mistrust from people like yourself. Like you said, change is good and it is going to happen, but there may be a point where we all draw a line and say that we won't stand it anymore. Maybe the next best thing will come along, but for now facebook is leading the charge and any changes they make we'll just have to accept so we can stay connected with that kid that sat behind us in algebra (we think).
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Mark-
Like I said, I'm irritated, but I wouldn't break off the relationship with FB. I think the core of what annoyed me so much was the assumption that I need someone to remind me to communicate with others. It's one thing to be a communication tool, but it's another to be a communication demander. I maybe wouldn't have minded it nearly as much if it wasn't for the way it was presented/phrased. "Make Facebook Better for them." "You haven't written on Mark's Wall!" I don't know if there's a better way to instigate action from clientèle, but rooting it in anything that feels like guilt traditionally doesn't fly for the American consumer. Facebook is like a phone book. If people want to talk to you and people want to find you, they do.
Oh and that kid who sat behind me in Algebra...he's an okay human, but I don't need to write on his wall every day.
And thanks for the comment!
-Heather
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H,
Stellar writing style...
To expand a little on Mark's point.
I think they do just enough to get you embedded a little bit more every day. The more you are embedded the more you will tolerate because the cost of moving all that data - or starting over is just too high. Read: Time.
I think as we move along people are going to pick two or three mediums and be done with it despite the irritations because time is/will be too precious.
M
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That I will agree with fully. I'm almost there myself. Honestly, the places I'm the most active as far as social stuff goes is on Facebook and Twitter. I check LinkedIn about once a day. MFI about 4 times a day. Twitter is up constantly and Facebook, dear facebook, gets a click at least 12 times an hour.
And I like I said, irritating as it is, I won't leave them, but I have to wonder how far I would let them irritate me before I would leave them. Interesting question really, and one that hadn't occurred to me until right now. I honestly don't know the answer either.
Social media is great, but there are limits. Burnout doesn't just happen with job stress, but with communication, too.
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